So the other day I saw a post online that was half hilarious and half sadly true. The post was, “Gay dating is just like getting a job. It either happens online or with a reference.” This is so true and it really drives me up a wall. Because of my stubbornness I had to go and prove that post wrong.
Before I jump into the epic story that inspired this post, I want to point out a great example of both references and non-references, and online dating experiences that I have had just to show how interesting dating can be in the life of a gay man’s shoes.
My first reference experience was very interesting. I was sitting in front of the train tracks and got a text message out of the clear blue. It was from a random guy who I had never talked to before. He wanted me to go out on a date with him. I had never seen him before. I had no clue who he was. The only insight I got was that he was the gay guy who worked at McDonald’s.
My best online experience was a doozy. It basically involved me lying to everyone to take a train to Chicago to walk a few blocks to take another train out of Chicago to a mall to meet a guy from roughly 60 miles away. It was a grand old time. He was awkward, quiet, and he wasn’t even that cute. Plus he was on his phone the whole time so I obviously knew I could do better. But that was a great waste of a day that I love telling around the campfire.
Then there was math team. Geeks and action shouldn’t go hand in hand. But somehow they do. I always seemed to find interesting guys at math team. Right after I broke up with the guy from McDonald’s we had a math team competition. While at this competition I made a bunch of friends while playing a game called Ninja. A really cute guy with blue liberty spikes came up to me and asked me what we were playing. I told him and he said that he wanted to play but he had no clue how. I showed him how to play in our own little mini game and it was a cute awkward time every time our hands touched. I ended up writing my number on a Reece’s wrapper and we took a picture together and two weeks later we were a cute little couple dying our hair fun colors for the winter formal.
Now for the best story. Yesterday at Panera I was waiting in line to place my order. I noticed a very handsome fellow standing a few feet away and he had an amazing cup that had a bunch of Pokémon pictures on it. I instantly complimented the cup, but he was a little to far away to hear me. Whatever. I’ll get over it.
After we had ordered, I went to find us a table. I instantly found him in the crowd and noticed that there was an open table next to him. I sat us down at the table next to him. My friends were waiting for their food and his friend was waiting for hers. I started up a conversation about Pokémon with him and we had a good talk. Our friends finally came back so me and handsome man stopped our conversation. I didn’t know if he was gay, but I was determined to not let the post I had seen the other day get the best of me. On our way out I decided to make my move. This was our conversation.
“Hey there. So I was just wondering if… Well, I mean, you can never be to sure so I just wanted to ask you….. And I mean, please don’t get offended if you aren’t… Well what I’m trying to ask is… Would you happen to be gay?”
“I do. I mean, I am. I mean…. Yes, I do… Crap… YES I AM GAY! There we go. Haha.”
At these words my heart was racing. This cute guy was sitting in front of me. He obviously didn’t find me repulsive. We had a great talk already and had some common interests. This is going great! I am so in the clear! My life is not confined to the social norms established on the internet! It is now time to make my move!
“Really? Ok, well do you think it would be ok if we exchanged numbers?”
And then it happened.
“Sorry! I have a boyfriend.”
“**** Ok. Sorry. ****** Um, well it was great meeting you. ******* **** I’ll just walk away then. God *******.”
I thought I had broke free. I though I had it. I was in the clear. And then because he was taken my world came crashing down. I left the restaurant letting lose a slew of profane phrases under my breath. I went to tell my friends how it went and then heard even better news. They heard me talking all the way in the front of the store. My voice loves to carry in the most incontinent of times.
So even though I failed, I proved to myself that it is possible to find a guy outside of the internet and without a reference. But he just may be in a relationship. But those are just minor details, right?